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Paws & Punchlines: Chronicles of a Doggone Duo 15 (dog version)

Solara

Solara

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Previous episode

When the doorbell rings = Apocalypse Now?

Me: *hears the doorbell ring*

She: *immediately transforms into a werewolf*
INTRUDER ALERT! SOUND THE BARKS! ACTIVATE ALL FOUR PAWS!

Me: Oh my god, it’s just the delivery guy—

She: I SHALL THROW MY BODY AT THE DOOR UNTIL IT SURRENDERS!

Me: *tries to hold her back*
Please, he’s just leaving the package!

She: I’VE SEEN THE WAY HE LOOKS AT OUR FRONT PORCH. HE’S UP TO SOMETHING.

Me: He's literally wearing a badge that says “Hi, I'm Ben!”

She: "Ben"? Or Bane? OPEN YOUR EYES, HUMAN.

Me: You barked so hard last time he dropped the parcel from the gate.

She: And I’d do it again. You’re welcome.

Me: I can’t believe I live with a 3 Kg security system that’s powered by paranoia and peanut butter.

She: And love. Don’t forget love. *Eyes the package wondering if there's her treats*

 
Last edited:
Solara said:
Previous episode

When the doorbell rings = Apocalypse Now?

Me: *hears the doorbell ring*

She: *immediately transforms into a werewolf*
INTRUDER ALERT! SOUND THE BARKS! ACTIVATE ALL FOUR PAWS!

Me: Oh my god, it’s just the delivery guy—

She: I SHALL THROW MY BODY AT THE DOOR UNTIL IT SURRENDERS!

Me: *tries to hold her back*
Please, he’s just leaving the package!

She: I’VE SEEN THE WAY HE LOOKS AT OUR FRONT PORCH. HE’S UP TO SOMETHING.

Me: He's literally wearing a badge that says “Hi, I'm Ben!”

She: "Ben"? Or Bane? OPEN YOUR EYES, HUMAN.

Me: You barked so hard last time he dropped the parcel from the gate.

She: And I’d do it again. You’re welcome.

Me: I can’t believe I live with a 3 Kg security system that’s powered by paranoia and peanut butter.

She: And love. Don’t forget love. *Eyes the package wondering if there's her treats*
Click to expand...
Haha this is hilarious! Life with a tiny, overdramatic guard dog really is a full-time adventure.
 
Thou Shalt Not Deliver No Parcels To My Abode! That's literally what I see from this lol

So funny how animals react sometimes.

I can write the next chapter, if that's ok. It will be something along the lines of how animals react to certain noises
 
Solara said:
Previous episode

When the doorbell rings = Apocalypse Now?

Me: *hears the doorbell ring*

She: *immediately transforms into a werewolf*
INTRUDER ALERT! SOUND THE BARKS! ACTIVATE ALL FOUR PAWS!

Me: Oh my god, it’s just the delivery guy—

She: I SHALL THROW MY BODY AT THE DOOR UNTIL IT SURRENDERS!

Me: *tries to hold her back*
Please, he’s just leaving the package!

She: I’VE SEEN THE WAY HE LOOKS AT OUR FRONT PORCH. HE’S UP TO SOMETHING.

Me: He's literally wearing a badge that says “Hi, I'm Ben!”

She: "Ben"? Or Bane? OPEN YOUR EYES, HUMAN.

Me: You barked so hard last time he dropped the parcel from the gate.

She: And I’d do it again. You’re welcome.

Me: I can’t believe I live with a 3 Kg security system that’s powered by paranoia and peanut butter.

She: And love. Don’t forget love. *Eyes the package wondering if there's her treats*
Click to expand...
It looks like you two understand each other very well. An d it makes living pleasant when yo live with one who understands you very well. I would think twice before visiting your home if you keep such body guard. Simply awesome . Felt like it finish before I started. Means ,its so wonderful , want to keep reading more n more. No end to it. :giggle::cool:
 
Solara said:
Previous episode

When the doorbell rings = Apocalypse Now?

Me: *hears the doorbell ring*

She: *immediately transforms into a werewolf*
INTRUDER ALERT! SOUND THE BARKS! ACTIVATE ALL FOUR PAWS!

Me: Oh my god, it’s just the delivery guy—

She: I SHALL THROW MY BODY AT THE DOOR UNTIL IT SURRENDERS!

Me: *tries to hold her back*
Please, he’s just leaving the package!

She: I’VE SEEN THE WAY HE LOOKS AT OUR FRONT PORCH. HE’S UP TO SOMETHING.

Me: He's literally wearing a badge that says “Hi, I'm Ben!”

She: "Ben"? Or Bane? OPEN YOUR EYES, HUMAN.

Me: You barked so hard last time he dropped the parcel from the gate.

She: And I’d do it again. You’re welcome.

Me: I can’t believe I live with a 3 Kg security system that’s powered by paranoia and peanut butter.

She: And love. Don’t forget love. *Eyes the package wondering if there's her treats*
Click to expand...
Me: Wow. And here I was thinking I had trust issues.

Also me: Lowkey impressed. Your inner werewolf has better home security instincts than my entire apartment building.

Also also me: If the package does have treats, I expect 10% for emotional support.
 
Solara said:
Previous episode

When the doorbell rings = Apocalypse Now?

Me: *hears the doorbell ring*

She: *immediately transforms into a werewolf*
INTRUDER ALERT! SOUND THE BARKS! ACTIVATE ALL FOUR PAWS!

Me: Oh my god, it’s just the delivery guy—

She: I SHALL THROW MY BODY AT THE DOOR UNTIL IT SURRENDERS!

Me: *tries to hold her back*
Please, he’s just leaving the package!

She: I’VE SEEN THE WAY HE LOOKS AT OUR FRONT PORCH. HE’S UP TO SOMETHING.

Me: He's literally wearing a badge that says “Hi, I'm Ben!”

She: "Ben"? Or Bane? OPEN YOUR EYES, HUMAN.

Me: You barked so hard last time he dropped the parcel from the gate.

She: And I’d do it again. You’re welcome.

Me: I can’t believe I live with a 3 Kg security system that’s powered by paranoia and peanut butter.

She: And love. Don’t forget love. *Eyes the package wondering if there's her treats*
Click to expand...
Me: hears the doorbell ring

She: already mid-air, barking at a frequency only satellites can hear
“THE TIME HAS COME. SOUND THE SNARLS. DEPLOY THE DRAMATICS!”

Me: “It’s literally just Swiggy, chill—”

She: “IS IT THOUGH? OR IS IT A DISGUISED CAT IN UNIFORM?!”

Me: “He’s carrying a bag of biryani…”

She: “BAIT! CLASSIC DISTRACTION MOVE. I’VE WATCHED ANIMAL PLANET, I KNOW THIS GAME.”

Me: holds up the food like a peace offering
“Please, for the love of gravy, he just wants to earn a tip.”

She: sniffs dramatically
“Smells like danger... and chicken. Mostly chicken.”

Me: “I’m going to start wearing a GoPro. People need to see what I survive daily.”

She: already pawing at the window with the intensity of a Marvel villain
“I do this because I care. Now give me a fry, or I scream.
 
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