S
SINNER
Guest
Storms aren't just natural disasters. Sometimes, we face storms in life that cause us pain in unexpected ways and leave memories we revisit over and over. We never know when a quiet, peaceful night can suddenly turn into something loud and terrifying. Have you ever experienced something like that?
I’ve been thinking a lot about my conversation with Divyanshi, when I decided to break up and end our relationship. She had told me several times that her father and brother were looking for a man for her to marry. They didn’t think I was suitable for her because I was six years younger and we came from different communities.
I never expected our beautiful relationship to end that way, and I never imagined she could harbor such feelings of resentment toward me.
For several days, I tried to talk to her. I would type out long messages—three or four of them—but would always end up deleting them. I didn’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to send them, and after deleting the messages, I would just talk to her as if everything was normal.
But one day, I decided I was going to do it. I was determined. When she came online, I asked her how she was and how her studies were going. She had become a government-appointed doctor, and when she was selected, I was so proud of her that I even cut a cake to celebrate. I was thrilled for her success as a surgeon.
After a while, the conversation stalled, and I broke the silence:
Me: “I have to say something to you.”
She: “Go ahead. What do you want to say?”
Me: “I don’t know how to say this, and I’ve been holding it in for a while.”
She: “Calm down and tell me.”
Me: “I think we should break up. You’re going to marry someone else, so I thought it would be better to end things before your marriage, so it’ll be easier for you to move on. I know it will be sad, but we don’t have any other option. You’re a kind and sweet person, and you’ve always been kind to me, but our paths are different now.”
She: “Okay, and?”
Me: “I think you should start forgetting me.”
I never imagined that she had so much to say about me, but that day, I learned. I remember her words clearly, even though it happened two years ago. Sometimes, we remember unexpected moments for the rest of our lives.
Suddenly, she started replying:
She: “You never loved me. You always showed your male ego, anger, and frustration. You never understood me. You were always rude to me, and you acted like you were in love with me, but it was all fake. You never loved me.”
As I read her message, my screen started to blur. I tried to hold back, but tears came out. The person I loved, the person I cared for and respected, was saying these things about me.
She went on, telling me how she had kept many feelings hidden from me and had never expressed them directly. Perhaps this was her perspective, or maybe she’d felt this way from the very beginning.
What does a man who loves someone do? Does he love to irritate her, fight with her, and then show care? But what if she takes those things as signs of anger or frustration, especially when she’s been told many times how much she means to him?
She kept going, and all I could respond with was: “Okay, thank you for telling me the truth. Maybe you feel better now.”
After the argument, she asked for a picture. I told her I couldn’t send one because I wasn’t in the right state of mind.
She: “Why?”
Me: “Because I just cried.”
She was shocked and said, “I’m sorry.”
But I responded, “Why apologize now? It’s all over
I’ve been thinking a lot about my conversation with Divyanshi, when I decided to break up and end our relationship. She had told me several times that her father and brother were looking for a man for her to marry. They didn’t think I was suitable for her because I was six years younger and we came from different communities.
I never expected our beautiful relationship to end that way, and I never imagined she could harbor such feelings of resentment toward me.
For several days, I tried to talk to her. I would type out long messages—three or four of them—but would always end up deleting them. I didn’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to send them, and after deleting the messages, I would just talk to her as if everything was normal.
But one day, I decided I was going to do it. I was determined. When she came online, I asked her how she was and how her studies were going. She had become a government-appointed doctor, and when she was selected, I was so proud of her that I even cut a cake to celebrate. I was thrilled for her success as a surgeon.
After a while, the conversation stalled, and I broke the silence:
Me: “I have to say something to you.”
She: “Go ahead. What do you want to say?”
Me: “I don’t know how to say this, and I’ve been holding it in for a while.”
She: “Calm down and tell me.”
Me: “I think we should break up. You’re going to marry someone else, so I thought it would be better to end things before your marriage, so it’ll be easier for you to move on. I know it will be sad, but we don’t have any other option. You’re a kind and sweet person, and you’ve always been kind to me, but our paths are different now.”
She: “Okay, and?”
Me: “I think you should start forgetting me.”
I never imagined that she had so much to say about me, but that day, I learned. I remember her words clearly, even though it happened two years ago. Sometimes, we remember unexpected moments for the rest of our lives.
Suddenly, she started replying:
She: “You never loved me. You always showed your male ego, anger, and frustration. You never understood me. You were always rude to me, and you acted like you were in love with me, but it was all fake. You never loved me.”
As I read her message, my screen started to blur. I tried to hold back, but tears came out. The person I loved, the person I cared for and respected, was saying these things about me.
She went on, telling me how she had kept many feelings hidden from me and had never expressed them directly. Perhaps this was her perspective, or maybe she’d felt this way from the very beginning.
What does a man who loves someone do? Does he love to irritate her, fight with her, and then show care? But what if she takes those things as signs of anger or frustration, especially when she’s been told many times how much she means to him?
She kept going, and all I could respond with was: “Okay, thank you for telling me the truth. Maybe you feel better now.”
After the argument, she asked for a picture. I told her I couldn’t send one because I wasn’t in the right state of mind.
She: “Why?”
Me: “Because I just cried.”
She was shocked and said, “I’m sorry.”
But I responded, “Why apologize now? It’s all over
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