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THE TREAT JAR SHUFFLE
Me: *accidentally nudges the treat jar while reaching for coffee*
She: *materializes out of thin air* I sensed a disturbance.
Me: I wasn’t getting you a treat.
She: The jar moved. The prophecy has begun.
Me: It moved because I bumped it!
She: Lies. Deceit. Treachery.
Me: You were literally dead asleep three seconds ago!
She: That was a power nap. I rise when the Treat Gods whisper.
Me: There are no Treat Gods.
She: *sits like a perfect angel* I’m ready. You may begin the offering.
Me: There is no offering.
She: Then I shall scream.
Me: You wouldn't—
She: *starts the high-pitched whine that can shatter glass*
Me: Fine!!!! Stop. Shush. One. Just one.
She: This pleases me. I shall resume napping... for now.
THE TREAT JAR SHUFFLE
Me: *accidentally nudges the treat jar while reaching for coffee*
She: *materializes out of thin air* I sensed a disturbance.
Me: I wasn’t getting you a treat.
She: The jar moved. The prophecy has begun.
Me: It moved because I bumped it!
She: Lies. Deceit. Treachery.
Me: You were literally dead asleep three seconds ago!
She: That was a power nap. I rise when the Treat Gods whisper.
Me: There are no Treat Gods.
She: *sits like a perfect angel* I’m ready. You may begin the offering.
Me: There is no offering.
She: Then I shall scream.
Me: You wouldn't—
She: *starts the high-pitched whine that can shatter glass*
Me: Fine!!!! Stop. Shush. One. Just one.
She: This pleases me. I shall resume napping... for now.
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