Jaanuu
Favoured Frenzy
Part 02 - Shards :- Those I held but never wholly 
(Disclaimer: This isn’t a confession or a diary entry. It’s simply a quiet gathering of memories, of people who passed through me like monsoon winds, sudden summers, or shadows that lingered too long. I wrote this because memory asks to be spoken, because silence still remembers nicknames, conversations, and the warmth of once-shared words. If you find yourself here, by name or by feeling,know that it’s not blame, not praise, just a small acknowledgment that you were part of my story. And maybe I never got to thank you, or say sorry. So here it is, quietly.)
Before I begin the next chapter of my Zozo life, there are a few small, quiet moments I missed side stories that unfolded in parallel, in other regional rooms.
The first among them is @EkaLustYa , the one who lived up to his name, exactly. Gentle, rare, and effortlessly special. I’ve written about him before, maybe more than once. It might feel repetitive, but when someone matters, repetition isn’t boasting, it's remembrance.
As I’ve always said, it was me who pulled away. I drew the lines, I created the distance. And over time, the bond quietly faded.
Now we talk rarely. But the funny part is, it’s always him who texts first.
Thank you for being part of my memory,
I’m sorry if I ever hurt you.
I liked you a lot.
Just stay exactly as you are.
____________________
The next in the list is Teja.
To be honest, I don’t have much to say, not because you didn’t matter, but because my memory holds so little of us together. But I do remember this, you always came to me.
Even though I never made the effort to come to you, even though I ignored you more than once… you still came back. Without ego. Without complaint. And that says something about you, not me.
I don’t think I deserved that. Maybe deserve is a strange word in a place like this, but still, I mean it. You didn’t have to keep coming back. But you did.
Thank you for being a part of my memory.
And I’m truly sorry if I hurt you in any way.
____________________
The next one… is probably the most special memory I’ve carried from here. I still joke with him about how he has different sides, but the first version I met wasn’t some hot @Butter Bun , but a sweet, soft, kind one. And yes, I had a crush on him from the beginning, and still do, to be honest. I’ve said it many times already, lol.
You were sweet. You were gentle.
You knew me, but you never really tried to know me. You kept a calm, clear boundary between us and I never tried to cross it. I respected that. Always.
Some people have this strange gift, they calm us down, they make the heaviness inside fade. You’re one of those people. Believe me, you really are.
I wished to see more of you. I tried.
But you never let me in, and that’s okay.
Even the small, quiet memories we shared were sweet. Adorable. Enough.
Thank you for being there.
I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way.
______________________
Then there was him, The one I used to listen to songs with. More than just being super sexy (as he himself say) @sssingh , he was full of songs… and sweetness. When I think of him now, the memories come wrapped in blue. The kind of blue that belongs to the ocean, or the sky. Endless. Vast. And somehow, I got lost in it.
I don’t know where exactly we lost each other. But I know we’re not going back to where we once stood. Those days were full of hues and blues… They were beautiful.
I had loved you.
I did.
Be you,
that soft, musical version of you.
Thank you for being there.
And I’m sorry, I know I hurt you.
______________________
There were times I began redefining love, not through grand gestures or poetic cliches, but through him, the Maddy, the @Multiverse★madness
The sweetest connection I ever had outside the Kerala room was with him. We blended ourselves gently into the language of love, joined hands under the umbrella of that word, love not loud, but tender, soft-spoken.
The memories feel like rain: gentle, cozy, and a little cold. Like something you wrap a shawl around and sit with quietly.
He was caring. Truly loving. And though I don’t remember how or when it ended, it ended mutually, like two pages that softly close without tearing. The memories stayed,beautiful, untouched.
I loved you.
I liked you, still do.
You are my friend.
Thank you for being part of that chapter.
And I’m sorry if I ever hurt you.
________________________
She came like a miracle in the middle of chaos, the sunshine to my darkness, the sunflower blooming toward my brightness. @Sekziii KuyiL
There were nights she lived in my 11:11 wishes, and even now, when the clock strikes 11:11, a quiet part of me whispers her name, and wishes nothing but joy for her.
She was my Wednesday. That rare gem that's calm wrapped in a smile, unexpected, needed, magical.
Sunshine, I miss you. I know, the fault was mine again. I couldn't keep the promises, and maybe in a world like this, promises never meant much… But you, you meant more than words.
I love you, Sunshine.
Always will.
Thank you for being the light
during some of my heaviest hours.
Thank you for those months
I got to be with you.
And I’m sorry
for every unspoken hurt
I might have left behind.
_____________________
Whenever I remember Sunshine, the sky naturally follows. Because what is sunshine without the sky to hold her? And so, there you are, Skylub.
You gave me a little space in your home, just because I happened to be, your favorite girl’s favorite girl, even if only for a few days. But in that small gesture, I saw the vastness of your heart. I understood the depth of your love.
You saw me like your own, just like you saw her and that was more than enoughWe didn't talk much, didn’t build long chapters,
but still, the memory feels incomplete without this quiet mention.
I liked you.
Truly.
Thank you for being there.
And I’m sorry
if I ever hurt you in any way.
_______________________
And finally, I think I’ll end this part of my memories with him, the one who changed names like seasons, shifted shades like stories, and always left a little spark of curiosity behind.
You were a mystery, @Atharv . A sweet, hot blur of good days, where we hit on each other like waves, soft, sudden, and wild.
I remember wondering often, "What is he really?", "Who is behind that nick, that vibe?" And then I laughed at myself, what's the point of being curious in such a place?
So I let you go. Told myself to stop being an idiot. That you were beyond that league of knowing. But Aathi... I know myself. If you speak again, I might just become the idiot again, blinking wide-eyed at your mystery.
No hate. Not even now. But yes, maybe a little lust, and a lot of unsolved feelings, tied up in the knot you left behind.
I liked you.
You were true.
Unsolved, like a puzzle.
_________________________
(Note: This isn’t the end, again. Just a way to say I’ve filled in the first part well. To be continued...To those who read both parts and stayed with me till here, thank you for giving your time to read my quiet memoir. I hope it didn’t bore you. Thank you, and happy reading.
)With love,
Jaanu.
