Jaanuu
Favoured Frenzy
Part 05 - Murmurs :- The ones who spoke in silences I still hear.
(Disclaimer: This part, too, is not the end. Some memories live in the quiet corners, waiting patiently to be seen. These aren’t stories I forgot, just the ones I chose to save for a softer moment. If you’ve come this far, thank you for walking through my fragments and flickers. Thank you for reading with your heart.)
There are some memories I’ve purposely kept aside, some people I haven’t written about yet, not because they were less, but because they deserved their own little thread. First among them is Johnyzz, or as I call him - my Gifferettan.
Why that name? Because gifs were the reason we ever started talking, lol. Yes, those silly, wild, not-so-innocent gifs. That was our beginning. But what came after, that strange comfort, the teasing company, the bond, it turned into something special.
Maybe it wasn't all soft and sweet, maybe it was more lust than love, maybe a little chaotic, but it was ours. And for me, it was damn special.
I knew you from the start, but truly got to know you only towards the end. There were moments, intense, electric, quiet, that brought us closer than we expected. And yet… uff, I escaped. Oops, we escaped. (LOL, lucky us?)
But dear, you! I liked you, always did. And I still do. In my own way.
I’m sorry if I ever hurt you, in ways I didn’t see. And thank you - truly - for everything.
"എനിക്കായി നീ പാട്ട് പാടുമ്പോൾ..."
_____________________________
He was the next one in the order of people I met, the other guy on the list. And as most people know him, it all started through songs.
Honestly, I usually don’t pay much attention to usernames like ukmallu, canada mallu or that sort, no offense, but I’m damn selective. Sure, I try to chat with almost everyone on the wall, but private conversations? That’s rare. I think many of us are like that, a little picky with our pvt space.
I’ve always had this habit of quietly observing, reading profiles, adoring the ones that catch my attention. And well, Canadian Mallu? I remember seeing his id and thinking, uhm, not my kinda league. Then came his songs. And I thought - uyyshhh damn, nooooooo!
Too many fans, too much spotlight, and yeah, I was a little jealous. I didn’t want to get attached to someone everyone else already adored.
Our wavelengths didn’t quite blend at first. But if memory serves right, I was the one who messaged him first, asking for a song. He did sing it later. And just like that, a friendship slowly took shape.
Quiet, steady, almost unnoticed, like a song you keep replaying but never tell anyone about. His writings, like his songs, were lit. And me? I was a silent fan. Not something I wanted to admit back then, but I guess I can now.
It wasn’t a loud bond, but it was good. It mattered. At least to me. And it’s etched into my memory just like the quiet verses he used to sing.
So… Sorry if I ever hurt you, even unknowingly. And thank you, truly, for everything. @Mozart
____________________________
Next on the list is @Honai or as I always called him, Naaaayiii. To be honest, I don’t have a whole essay to write about him, but he’s definitely someone who deserves a mention in my memories.
Ours was a story filled with fights. In fact, I think our very first chat started with an argument (classic us) but then we compromised, patched up, only to fight again, lol. But between all those silly disagreements, there were nights where we chatted on wall, sharing laughs and nonsense, making the bond more funny and weirdly sweet.
Whatever we had, it was chaotic, hilarious, and somehow comforting in its own way.
So dear Naaaayiii, Thank you for being there through the madness. And sorry if any of my words ever hurt you. You’re a part of this too. Always.
____________________________
@TheWiTcher08 is someone I don’t have a lot of loud or detailed memories with but there’s definitely a place for him in my heart’s little archive.
Ours wasn’t about constant chats or endless stories. It was about motivation, the kind that didn’t come with conditions or expectations. We pushed each other forward not knowing if it would work, not needing it to be perfect but still, it was beautiful in its own way.
I truly wish him well, in all his dreams, his future endeavors, and everything he quietly hopes for.
Thank you, dear, for being there when I needed it most. And sorry if I ever hurt you, in any way.
_______________________
How could I ever forget him the one who made my dreams and imaginations feel prettier, just through a handful of words?
Words have always meant so much to me. They’re what I fall for, the way they dance, the way they ache, the way they heal. Sure, in a place like this, many play with words, but only a few know how to carry their weight. He was one of them.
Funny thing is, I still don’t know what nickname to place him under. I didn’t know much about him. He didn’t know much about me. And yet… we talked.
We chatted as if we were sitting together on a quiet evening, a cup of chai warming our hands. Sometimes it was philosophy. Sometimes more than that. But what was truly special, was how clear everything between us felt. Like a story being painted across the sky. And he, he drew it for me. He wrote it for me. And that made it unforgettable.
Even though he always vanished, always left me at the edge of a twist. I never hated him. Never even felt angry. I was okay when he wasn’t there. But when he was, it meant something. It mattered. Deeply. Inside my quiet, white heart.
Thank you, for everything you wrote, imagined, and made me feel. And sorry, if I ever hurt you, even unknowingly.
(To be honest, I forgot his nick. I even asked someone who might remember. Sometimes, the things we think matter… don't. And maybe names didn’t matter either, but I do remember a glimpse of “onceuponatime”… “rainagain” something like that.)
____________________________
(Note: This isn’t the end, once again. There are still few pages fluttering somewhere inside me, still names that echo when I least expect. But for now, this is where I pause. To those who stayed through it all, thank you for reading, for remembering with me, for allowing these pieces to exist outside just my heart. I hope it made you smile, maybe ache a little too. Until the next thread unravels! Happy reading, always!)
with love,
Jaanu!
