Previous Chapter:
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The Weight of the Unsaid
It’s strange how heavy silence can be.
Not the kind that’s peaceful, like after a long day or during a walk in the rain. No, this was the kind of silence that fills a room even when people are talking. The kind that grows louder the more you try to ignore it.
I started noticing how often I stopped mid-sentence. How many times I swallowed words because they felt pointless. How often I wanted to say, “I’m not okay,” but the moment passed… and so did the courage.
Once, I almost said something.
We were sitting at a cafe—me and a friend I’ve known for years. She was talking about weekend plans, laughing about something someone had posted online. I nodded along, but my mind was elsewhere. Distant. Tired. There was a tightness in my chest, and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
I opened my mouth and said, “Hey, can I tell you something?”
She looked up. “Yeah?”
My heart beat faster. The words were right there.
But then her phone buzzed. She glanced at it, laughed, typed something quickly.
And I said, “…Never mind.”
It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t mean to brush me off. But that’s how it works. The world isn’t always cruel. Sometimes, it’s just… distracted. And people like me, we’re quiet. Too quiet. So when the world forgets to listen, we fall back into our silence, deeper than before.
That night, I wrote a message.
A real one. Raw and messy. Something like:
“I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m so tired all the time, and everything feels heavy. I think I need help.”
But I never hit send. I stared at it for a long time, then deleted it.
Because what if they didn’t understand? What if they thought I was being dramatic? What if they changed how they looked at me?
Worse… what if they said nothing at all?
So I kept it in. Again. And again.
People told me I seemed quieter lately. More distant.
I smiled and said I was just busy.
They accepted that.
Because no one really wants to peel the layers.
They want reassurance, not rawness.
They want smiles, not symptoms.
And so the words remained unspoken. But they piled up inside—unheard, unacknowledged, unresolved.
And every time I stayed quiet, I felt a little further from the surface.
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Next Chapter:
Ashes and After : 1
Intro chapter : https://www.chatzozo.com/forum/threads/ashes-and-after.60717/ ______________________ The Subtle Shift I don't remember the exact day it began. No dramatic moment, no explosion of grief or heartbreak. Just a quiet kind of fading. At first, it was simple things. I’d sit through...
www.chatzozo.com
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The Weight of the Unsaid
It’s strange how heavy silence can be.
Not the kind that’s peaceful, like after a long day or during a walk in the rain. No, this was the kind of silence that fills a room even when people are talking. The kind that grows louder the more you try to ignore it.
I started noticing how often I stopped mid-sentence. How many times I swallowed words because they felt pointless. How often I wanted to say, “I’m not okay,” but the moment passed… and so did the courage.
Once, I almost said something.
We were sitting at a cafe—me and a friend I’ve known for years. She was talking about weekend plans, laughing about something someone had posted online. I nodded along, but my mind was elsewhere. Distant. Tired. There was a tightness in my chest, and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
I opened my mouth and said, “Hey, can I tell you something?”
She looked up. “Yeah?”
My heart beat faster. The words were right there.
But then her phone buzzed. She glanced at it, laughed, typed something quickly.
And I said, “…Never mind.”
It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t mean to brush me off. But that’s how it works. The world isn’t always cruel. Sometimes, it’s just… distracted. And people like me, we’re quiet. Too quiet. So when the world forgets to listen, we fall back into our silence, deeper than before.
That night, I wrote a message.
A real one. Raw and messy. Something like:
“I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m so tired all the time, and everything feels heavy. I think I need help.”
But I never hit send. I stared at it for a long time, then deleted it.
Because what if they didn’t understand? What if they thought I was being dramatic? What if they changed how they looked at me?
Worse… what if they said nothing at all?
So I kept it in. Again. And again.
People told me I seemed quieter lately. More distant.
I smiled and said I was just busy.
They accepted that.
Because no one really wants to peel the layers.
They want reassurance, not rawness.
They want smiles, not symptoms.
And so the words remained unspoken. But they piled up inside—unheard, unacknowledged, unresolved.
And every time I stayed quiet, I felt a little further from the surface.
_________________________________________
Next Chapter:
Ashes and After : 3
Previous Chapter: https://www.chatzozo.com/forum/threads/ashes-and-after-2.60940/ _______________________________ The Disappearing Act I didn’t plan to fade. It just… happened. Slowly. Almost invisibly. One skipped call turned into five. One declined invitation turned into months of no plans...
www.chatzozo.com
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I know I am not that good in expressing myself but five fingers are not equal. 
