An Unforgettable NᎥght

[NEPTUNE]

Part 1: erotica​

​

I moved my lithe leg in a fine move- spreading it wide open. I had no undies. My kitty gave me the conviction by letting out a drop of honey. Honey dripped outta labia, reaching the clitoris- gentle yet elegant. I could feel dat fucking sensation. The juice dripped to my skimpy top n there was no choice other than taking it n casually having it as if nothing had happened!

He was watching my climax, pressing a spoon hard against his fingers, n then gently moving his lips over its hymen. I was watching him, the man who sat by the next table, not too away from my labia, n I was next to his mickey.

Literally I could see his rod erecting outta thy caves. Big enough to ruin my pussy. It made me crave, crave for being treated well by his coercive n thick arms over my arse, thy honey to be drilled by those fingers, n purring inside my button, then being licked n being fucked. Fuck, moan low- I wished he w'ld say dat.

I stripped off my buttons- slowly, Yeah... I know how to perfectly draw him to the cave.

I saw him watching me, I saw him rising, N then there he was racing towards me, yes towards my wild cat. Absolutely towards me!!

'Hey, Ms.'

He looked straight to my tits, dat half spung outta the bras. But listen, He wasn't dat usual *sort of* man, who faced sexual poverty than financial pauperism. Fuck! He was a perfect *Master* Piece. N I was a perfect *Piece* for him- Smirked myself.

He raised his brows, n his tool. I could feel him breathing through his meat. Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I replied his *Hi Ms.*by a 'Yes Master'. It came outta my tongue, un-intentionally, evoking my submission towards his dick.

'I don't want a play, just want to make a fuck. Wanna be my doll?'

'Yes' I replied, again..... *much naturally*

'Donn be a brat, I want Just silence, If I even hear you cry, I'll leave you'

My eyebrows bent into an arch, questioning whether I could afford his dominance wid discipline. Am I really doing this? keep the pace, step back isn't possible now.

I nodded, with out uttering a word. I thought he would touch me, n feel me. Rather he walked to his table, fetched a pair of keys n binding my hands wid cuffs, made me walk to his room.

I could hear him breathing, it wasn't his tool dat was breathing now.... instead it was his nostrils, I could sense it- it was..... as if, the whole air was sucked by him, including the one dat surrounded my honey drenched pussy. A chill ran around my spine, Heart beating going double thy pace- I could sense him, feel his hand holding mine tightly wid thy cuffs.

I held my breath, n waited. Yet Moving.

'Move fast', he said.

'Yes Master', I said in a whisper *ONLY* to my heart.

To be continued.....

랜NEPTUNE

ßondage ᗪisciple Submission Masochism​

 

[Honey bunch]

Part 1: erotica​

​

I moved my lithe leg in a fine move- spreading it wide open. I had no undies. My kitty gave me the conviction by letting out a drop of honey. Honey dripped outta labia, reaching the clitoris- gentle yet elegant. I could feel dat fucking sensation. The juice dripped to my skimpy top n there was no choice other than taking it n casually having it as if nothing had happened!

He was watching my climax, pressing a spoon hard against his fingers, n then gently moving his lips over its hymen. I was watching him, the man who sat by the next table, not too away from my labia, n I was next to his mickey.

Literally I could see his rod erecting outta thy caves. Big enough to ruin my pussy. It made me crave, crave for being treated well by his coercive n thick arms over my arse, thy honey to be drilled by those fingers, n purring inside my button, then being licked n being fucked. Fuck, moan low- I wished he w'ld say dat.

I stripped off my buttons- slowly, Yeah... I know how to perfectly draw him to the cave.

I saw him watching me, I saw him rising, N then there he was racing towards me, yes towards my wild cat. Absolutely towards me!!

'Hey, Ms.'

He looked straight to my tits, dat half spung outta the bras. But listen, He wasn't dat usual *sort of* man, who faced sexual poverty than financial pauperism. Fuck! He was a perfect *Master* Piece. N I was a perfect *Piece* for him- Smirked myself.

He raised his brows, n his tool. I could feel him breathing through his meat. Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I replied his *Hi Ms.*by a 'Yes Master'. It came outta my tongue, un-intentionally, evoking my submission towards his dick.

'I don't want a play, just want to make a fuck. Wanna be my doll?'

'Yes' I replied, again..... *much naturally*

'Donn be a brat, I want Just silence, If I even hear you cry, I'll leave you'

My eyebrows bent into an arch, questioning whether I could afford his dominance wid discipline. Am I really doing this? keep the pace, step back isn't possible now.

I nodded, with out uttering a word. I thought he would touch me, n feel me. Rather he walked to his table, fetched a pair of keys n binding my hands wid cuffs, made me walk to his room.

I could hear him breathing, it wasn't his tool dat was breathing now.... instead it was his nostrils, I could sense it- it was..... as if, the whole air was sucked by him, including the one dat surrounded my honey drenched pussy. A chill ran around my spine, Heart beating going double thy pace- I could sense him, feel his hand holding mine tightly wid thy cuffs.

I held my breath, n waited. Yet Moving.

'Move fast', he said.

'Yes Master', I said in a whisper *ONLY* to my heart.

To be continued.....

랜NEPTUNE

ßondage ᗪisciple Submission Masochism​

Why don’t you take the lead? Why isn’t he being more submissive?


I couldn’t feel any erotic energy, not even a hint of tension in your writing.


Maybe you could add a romantic touch and gradually build up to the erotic part, but you jumped straight into it!


Maybe the writer was in an erotic state!


'Slow and steady wins the race' isn’t just something for a game; don’t you think it applies here as well?


There’s still a lot more to do if you want to impress me with your erotic writing.

Even a simple romantic kiss makes me turn, just the way the scene is explained.

​

 

[Honey bunch]

Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I​

When I was reading, this line gave me a little 'wow' feeling and made me smile. Nice try

​

 

[Garygoodboy]

Part 1: erotica​

​

I moved my lithe leg in a fine move- spreading it wide open. I had no undies. My kitty gave me the conviction by letting out a drop of honey. Honey dripped outta labia, reaching the clitoris- gentle yet elegant. I could feel dat fucking sensation. The juice dripped to my skimpy top n there was no choice other than taking it n casually having it as if nothing had happened!

He was watching my climax, pressing a spoon hard against his fingers, n then gently moving his lips over its hymen. I was watching him, the man who sat by the next table, not too away from my labia, n I was next to his mickey.

Literally I could see his rod erecting outta thy caves. Big enough to ruin my pussy. It made me crave, crave for being treated well by his coercive n thick arms over my arse, thy honey to be drilled by those fingers, n purring inside my button, then being licked n being fucked. Fuck, moan low- I wished he w'ld say dat.

I stripped off my buttons- slowly, Yeah... I know how to perfectly draw him to the cave.

I saw him watching me, I saw him rising, N then there he was racing towards me, yes towards my wild cat. Absolutely towards me!!

'Hey, Ms.'

He looked straight to my tits, dat half spung outta the bras. But listen, He wasn't dat usual *sort of* man, who faced sexual poverty than financial pauperism. Fuck! He was a perfect *Master* Piece. N I was a perfect *Piece* for him- Smirked myself.

He raised his brows, n his tool. I could feel him breathing through his meat. Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I replied his *Hi Ms.*by a 'Yes Master'. It came outta my tongue, un-intentionally, evoking my submission towards his dick.

'I don't want a play, just want to make a fuck. Wanna be my doll?'

'Yes' I replied, again..... *much naturally*

'Donn be a brat, I want Just silence, If I even hear you cry, I'll leave you'

My eyebrows bent into an arch, questioning whether I could afford his dominance wid discipline. Am I really doing this? keep the pace, step back isn't possible now.

I nodded, with out uttering a word. I thought he would touch me, n feel me. Rather he walked to his table, fetched a pair of keys n binding my hands wid cuffs, made me walk to his room.

I could hear him breathing, it wasn't his tool dat was breathing now.... instead it was his nostrils, I could sense it- it was..... as if, the whole air was sucked by him, including the one dat surrounded my honey drenched pussy. A chill ran around my spine, Heart beating going double thy pace- I could sense him, feel his hand holding mine tightly wid thy cuffs.

I held my breath, n waited. Yet Moving.

'Move fast', he said.

'Yes Master', I said in a whisper *ONLY* to my heart.

To be continued.....

랜NEPTUNE

ßondage ᗪisciple Submission Masochism​

There are so many words in here that could relate too, I love this xxx

 

[NEPTUNE]

When I was reading, this line gave me a little 'wow' feeling and made me smile. Nice try

​

There are so many words in here that could relate too, I love this xxx

Thanks dears x

 

[NEPTUNE]

Why don’t you take the lead? Why isn’t he being more submissive?


I couldn’t feel any erotic energy, not even a hint of tension in your writing.


Maybe you could add a romantic touch and gradually build up to the erotic part, but you jumped straight into it!


Maybe the writer was in an erotic state!


'Slow and steady wins the race' isn’t just something for a game; don’t you think it applies here as well?


There’s still a lot more to do if you want to impress me with your erotic writing.

Even a simple romantic kiss makes me turn, just the way the scene is explained.

​

Ain't 'm I n a starving temper, not even while writing dis thread kaddoosss, Its just a pieca work, purely fictional.


Erotica s not my state, lol...


​

 

[Maraa]

Wooahh hooo

But why my mind thinks this a interracial.. ( American - japanese )

Is this the starting..? Ms. Neptune

 

[NEPTUNE]

Wooahh hooo

But why my mind thinks this a interracial.. ( American - japanese )

Is this the starting..? Ms. Neptune

Its not dat type Mr Mars. Lemme think of it oops

 

[Solara]

Would say it's a good attempt hun.. it is difficult to imagine and write on something u don't relate with yourself ..
I understand either or both having a dominant nature .. that's common in sex... Either one or both taking turns .. but I ain't into BDSM so couldn't relate to it... More into sensual towards erotica.

Jus a suggestion... U can bring out intense emotions using simple conversational words too...

 

[NEPTUNE]

Would say it's a good attempt hun.. it is difficult to imagine and write on something u don't relate with yourself ..
I understand either or both having a dominant nature .. that's common in sex... Either one or both taking turns .. but I ain't into BDSM so couldn't relate to it... More into sensual towards erotica.

Jus a suggestion... U can bring out intense emotions using simple conversational words too...

ty baee

Yea gotch it, tho it s as simple as me nah

N 'm new to eroticas, so It'll take me tym to express x

 

[Maraa]

Its not dat type Mr Mars. Lemme think of it oops

When i see that u hav written.. "Yes master" - i could see that as them

Mushiii. Mushiiii... Senseii

I am planning to write a review with a rating for each episode

 

[Solara]

ty baee

Yea gotch it, tho it s as simple as me nah

N 'm new to eroticas, so It'll take me tym to express x

Yeah... Take ur time.. sure you'll get a hang of it see if u can bring out the expressions more naturally... Work a bit on building the sexual tension between ur characters .

 

[InkyWhispers]

Part 1: erotica​

​

I moved my lithe leg in a fine move- spreading it wide open. I had no undies. My kitty gave me the conviction by letting out a drop of honey. Honey dripped outta labia, reaching the clitoris- gentle yet elegant. I could feel dat fucking sensation. The juice dripped to my skimpy top n there was no choice other than taking it n casually having it as if nothing had happened!

He was watching my climax, pressing a spoon hard against his fingers, n then gently moving his lips over its hymen. I was watching him, the man who sat by the next table, not too away from my labia, n I was next to his mickey.

Literally I could see his rod erecting outta thy caves. Big enough to ruin my pussy. It made me crave, crave for being treated well by his coercive n thick arms over my arse, thy honey to be drilled by those fingers, n purring inside my button, then being licked n being fucked. Fuck, moan low- I wished he w'ld say dat.

I stripped off my buttons- slowly, Yeah... I know how to perfectly draw him to the cave.

I saw him watching me, I saw him rising, N then there he was racing towards me, yes towards my wild cat. Absolutely towards me!!

'Hey, Ms.'

He looked straight to my tits, dat half spung outta the bras. But listen, He wasn't dat usual *sort of* man, who faced sexual poverty than financial pauperism. Fuck! He was a perfect *Master* Piece. N I was a perfect *Piece* for him- Smirked myself.

He raised his brows, n his tool. I could feel him breathing through his meat. Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I replied his *Hi Ms.*by a 'Yes Master'. It came outta my tongue, un-intentionally, evoking my submission towards his dick.

'I don't want a play, just want to make a fuck. Wanna be my doll?'

'Yes' I replied, again..... *much naturally*

'Donn be a brat, I want Just silence, If I even hear you cry, I'll leave you'

My eyebrows bent into an arch, questioning whether I could afford his dominance wid discipline. Am I really doing this? keep the pace, step back isn't possible now.

I nodded, with out uttering a word. I thought he would touch me, n feel me. Rather he walked to his table, fetched a pair of keys n binding my hands wid cuffs, made me walk to his room.

I could hear him breathing, it wasn't his tool dat was breathing now.... instead it was his nostrils, I could sense it- it was..... as if, the whole air was sucked by him, including the one dat surrounded my honey drenched pussy. A chill ran around my spine, Heart beating going double thy pace- I could sense him, feel his hand holding mine tightly wid thy cuffs.

I held my breath, n waited. Yet Moving.

'Move fast', he said.

'Yes Master', I said in a whisper *ONLY* to my heart.

To be continued.....

랜NEPTUNE

ßondage ᗪisciple Submission Masochism​

"If I even hear u cry, I'll leave u". This sentence got me. The sheer audacity, sometimes it's intoxicating and challenging as well. The thrill it brings...mhmm bring more to the table, hun. I want the fire, the chaos that makes my heart race and my soul ache.

 

[InkyWhispers]

Yeah... Take ur time.. sure you'll get a hang of it see if u can bring out the expressions more naturally... Work a bit on building the sexual tension between ur characters .

I agree with Solz. You need to work on the build up. Maybe she was just horny af but there's something special about in building that sexual tension, the occasional drifting apart and then coming close again. You know the playful back n forth that keeps u on edge.

 

[TheOG]

Part 1: erotica​

​

I moved my lithe leg in a fine move- spreading it wide open. I had no undies. My kitty gave me the conviction by letting out a drop of honey. Honey dripped outta labia, reaching the clitoris- gentle yet elegant. I could feel dat fucking sensation. The juice dripped to my skimpy top n there was no choice other than taking it n casually having it as if nothing had happened!

He was watching my climax, pressing a spoon hard against his fingers, n then gently moving his lips over its hymen. I was watching him, the man who sat by the next table, not too away from my labia, n I was next to his mickey.

Literally I could see his rod erecting outta thy caves. Big enough to ruin my pussy. It made me crave, crave for being treated well by his coercive n thick arms over my arse, thy honey to be drilled by those fingers, n purring inside my button, then being licked n being fucked. Fuck, moan low- I wished he w'ld say dat.

I stripped off my buttons- slowly, Yeah... I know how to perfectly draw him to the cave.

I saw him watching me, I saw him rising, N then there he was racing towards me, yes towards my wild cat. Absolutely towards me!!

'Hey, Ms.'

He looked straight to my tits, dat half spung outta the bras. But listen, He wasn't dat usual *sort of* man, who faced sexual poverty than financial pauperism. Fuck! He was a perfect *Master* Piece. N I was a perfect *Piece* for him- Smirked myself.

He raised his brows, n his tool. I could feel him breathing through his meat. Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I replied his *Hi Ms.*by a 'Yes Master'. It came outta my tongue, un-intentionally, evoking my submission towards his dick.

'I don't want a play, just want to make a fuck. Wanna be my doll?'

'Yes' I replied, again..... *much naturally*

'Donn be a brat, I want Just silence, If I even hear you cry, I'll leave you'

My eyebrows bent into an arch, questioning whether I could afford his dominance wid discipline. Am I really doing this? keep the pace, step back isn't possible now.

I nodded, with out uttering a word. I thought he would touch me, n feel me. Rather he walked to his table, fetched a pair of keys n binding my hands wid cuffs, made me walk to his room.

I could hear him breathing, it wasn't his tool dat was breathing now.... instead it was his nostrils, I could sense it- it was..... as if, the whole air was sucked by him, including the one dat surrounded my honey drenched pussy. A chill ran around my spine, Heart beating going double thy pace- I could sense him, feel his hand holding mine tightly wid thy cuffs.

I held my breath, n waited. Yet Moving.

'Move fast', he said.

'Yes Master', I said in a whisper *ONLY* to my heart.

To be continued.....

랜NEPTUNE

ßondage ᗪisciple Submission Masochism​

next part ... say it to him "YES MASTER"

 

[Honey bunch]

I couldn’t feel any erotic energy, not even a hint of tension in your writing.​

Jus a suggestion... U can bring out intense emotions using simple conversational words too...

see if u can bring out the expressions more naturally... Work a bit on building the sexual tension between ur characters .

I agree with Solz. You need to work on the build up. Maybe she was just horny af but there's something special about in building that sexual tension.

Consider this as feedback for your writing.

Work on improving your storytelling, and remember that what we ultimately need is palpable sexual tension and some intriguing romantic scenes between the leads.

Make the second part of your erotica even more irresistible!

​

 

[NEPTUNE]

Yeah... Take ur time.. sure you'll get a hang of it see if u can bring out the expressions more naturally... Work a bit on building the sexual tension between ur characters .

yea sure x @Solara

"If I even hear u cry, I'll leave u". This sentence got me. The sheer audacity, sometimes it's intoxicating and challenging as well. The thrill it brings...mhmm bring more to the table, hun. I want the fire, the chaos that makes my heart race and my soul ache.

ty bae, n 'll try it out @InkyWhispers

next part ... say it to him "YES MASTER"

lol is it @AloneinMillions

Consider this as feedback for your writing.

Work on improving your storytelling, and remember that what we ultimately need is palpable sexual tension and some intriguing romantic scenes between the leads.

Make the second part of your erotica even more irresistible!

​

haan jaanuu

 

[criss cross]

Part 1: erotica​

​

I moved my lithe leg in a fine move- spreading it wide open. I had no undies. My kitty gave me the conviction by letting out a drop of honey. Honey dripped outta labia, reaching the clitoris- gentle yet elegant. I could feel dat fucking sensation. The juice dripped to my skimpy top n there was no choice other than taking it n casually having it as if nothing had happened!

He was watching my climax, pressing a spoon hard against his fingers, n then gently moving his lips over its hymen. I was watching him, the man who sat by the next table, not too away from my labia, n I was next to his mickey.

Literally I could see his rod erecting outta thy caves. Big enough to ruin my pussy. It made me crave, crave for being treated well by his coercive n thick arms over my arse, thy honey to be drilled by those fingers, n purring inside my button, then being licked n being fucked. Fuck, moan low- I wished he w'ld say dat.

I stripped off my buttons- slowly, Yeah... I know how to perfectly draw him to the cave.

I saw him watching me, I saw him rising, N then there he was racing towards me, yes towards my wild cat. Absolutely towards me!!

'Hey, Ms.'

He looked straight to my tits, dat half spung outta the bras. But listen, He wasn't dat usual *sort of* man, who faced sexual poverty than financial pauperism. Fuck! He was a perfect *Master* Piece. N I was a perfect *Piece* for him- Smirked myself.

He raised his brows, n his tool. I could feel him breathing through his meat. Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I replied his *Hi Ms.*by a 'Yes Master'. It came outta my tongue, un-intentionally, evoking my submission towards his dick.

'I don't want a play, just want to make a fuck. Wanna be my doll?'

'Yes' I replied, again..... *much naturally*

'Donn be a brat, I want Just silence, If I even hear you cry, I'll leave you'

My eyebrows bent into an arch, questioning whether I could afford his dominance wid discipline. Am I really doing this? keep the pace, step back isn't possible now.

I nodded, with out uttering a word. I thought he would touch me, n feel me. Rather he walked to his table, fetched a pair of keys n binding my hands wid cuffs, made me walk to his room.

I could hear him breathing, it wasn't his tool dat was breathing now.... instead it was his nostrils, I could sense it- it was..... as if, the whole air was sucked by him, including the one dat surrounded my honey drenched pussy. A chill ran around my spine, Heart beating going double thy pace- I could sense him, feel his hand holding mine tightly wid thy cuffs.

I held my breath, n waited. Yet Moving.

'Move fast', he said.

'Yes Master', I said in a whisper *ONLY* to my heart.

To be continued.....

랜NEPTUNE

ßondage ᗪisciple Submission Masochism​

The writing was very nice, but it would have been better if it had been a little deeper.

 

[URum]

Good writing am, amazed

 

[naveenhoney2589]

Part 1: erotica​

​

I moved my lithe leg in a fine move- spreading it wide open. I had no undies. My kitty gave me the conviction by letting out a drop of honey. Honey dripped outta labia, reaching the clitoris- gentle yet elegant. I could feel dat fucking sensation. The juice dripped to my skimpy top n there was no choice other than taking it n casually having it as if nothing had happened!

He was watching my climax, pressing a spoon hard against his fingers, n then gently moving his lips over its hymen. I was watching him, the man who sat by the next table, not too away from my labia, n I was next to his mickey.

Literally I could see his rod erecting outta thy caves. Big enough to ruin my pussy. It made me crave, crave for being treated well by his coercive n thick arms over my arse, thy honey to be drilled by those fingers, n purring inside my button, then being licked n being fucked. Fuck, moan low- I wished he w'ld say dat.

I stripped off my buttons- slowly, Yeah... I know how to perfectly draw him to the cave.

I saw him watching me, I saw him rising, N then there he was racing towards me, yes towards my wild cat. Absolutely towards me!!

'Hey, Ms.'

He looked straight to my tits, dat half spung outta the bras. But listen, He wasn't dat usual *sort of* man, who faced sexual poverty than financial pauperism. Fuck! He was a perfect *Master* Piece. N I was a perfect *Piece* for him- Smirked myself.

He raised his brows, n his tool. I could feel him breathing through his meat. Letting out another drop of cry from my pussy I replied his *Hi Ms.*by a 'Yes Master'. It came outta my tongue, un-intentionally, evoking my submission towards his dick.

'I don't want a play, just want to make a fuck. Wanna be my doll?'

'Yes' I replied, again..... *much naturally*

'Donn be a brat, I want Just silence, If I even hear you cry, I'll leave you'

My eyebrows bent into an arch, questioning whether I could afford his dominance wid discipline. Am I really doing this? keep the pace, step back isn't possible now.

I nodded, with out uttering a word. I thought he would touch me, n feel me. Rather he walked to his table, fetched a pair of keys n binding my hands wid cuffs, made me walk to his room.

I could hear him breathing, it wasn't his tool dat was breathing now.... instead it was his nostrils, I could sense it- it was..... as if, the whole air was sucked by him, including the one dat surrounded my honey drenched pussy. A chill ran around my spine, Heart beating going double thy pace- I could sense him, feel his hand holding mine tightly wid thy cuffs.

I held my breath, n waited. Yet Moving.

'Move fast', he said.

'Yes Master', I said in a whisper *ONLY* to my heart.

To be continued.....

랜NEPTUNE

ßondage ᗪisciple Submission Masochism​

It's so well structured nd hot. Thanks for your patience