An alter ego is a second identity or different version of a person, often with its own personality, behavior, or style.
knowingly or unknowingly in a period of dark- depression and psychological explosion i created an alter ego..
his name was Krishnan.
Krishna…
They say mythology is just stories.
But somewhere along the way, I started seeing my life inside those stories.
I walked away from studies…
A music-loving wanderer…
A Radha in my childhood…
Loss, pain, and battles no one could see.
Not wars with weapons…
Wars inside the mind.
And in the middle of all that…
Krishna in me started to live.
Not just exist… but enjoy.
He was free.
He felt special.
He believed he had a purpose beyond ordinary life.
But as I grew…
That belief became a burden.
Thoughts about destiny…
About dharma and adharma…
About balance, purpose… meaning…
All these thoughts…
They didn’t elevate me.
They trapped me.
Sometimes…
That Krishna inside me would take over.
And when he did…
I wasn’t just living…
I was performing a role.
I would meet people…
Feel deeply…
Then walk away when the feeling faded.
Again and again.
But once…
There was someone different.
She didn’t leave when I ran.
She stayed.
She chased.
She understood.
For the first time…
I turned back.
And somewhere in that moment…
I made her my Rukmini.
Not because she was…
But because I needed her to be.
Before her… there was a Radha.
In real life… and even in distant connections of the heart.
But this…
This was different.
Or at least… I believed it was.
Until one day…
She was gone.
Just like that.
And that’s when it hit me…
If I keep believing in this story…
Then I’ll keep waiting for a Rukmini to arrive.
And every time…
I’ll turn life into a battlefield.
Because that’s what Krishna does, right?
And that’s what scares me.
Not the world…
Not people…
But the version of me
that I don’t fully control.
The one that enjoys the chase…
The one that creates meaning where there is none…
The one that turns life into a story
and forgets it’s real.
So now I stand here…
With only two choices.
Live in the memories of a Rukmini who was never real…
and block anything real from ever entering my life…
Or…
End this.
End the Krishna I created.
End the illusion.
End the story.
Convince myself that what I believed…
was never true.
And maybe then…
I can finally be free.
Or maybe…
I’ll just become empty.
Either way…
This has to end.
for those who love me...
don't call me...
sree
Krishnan
kannan
kinnan
kichu
kishan
he is dead!
