Intro chapter :
______________________
The Subtle Shift
I don't remember the exact day it began.
No dramatic moment, no explosion of grief or heartbreak.
Just a quiet kind of fading.
At first, it was simple things. I’d sit through a movie I once loved and realize I hadn’t laughed once. Songs that used to make me sing along now passed through me like static. I'd pick up my phone to message someone—then stare at the blank screen, unsure what I even wanted to say. And then I’d put it down again.
“I’m just tired,” I told myself.
That lie is easy. It fits well. People believe it too—because everyone’s tired. No one asks why.
But I knew.
It wasn’t physical. It was something deeper, heavier. Like walking underwater. Every step, every smile, every thought took effort.
Still, I managed.
Work got done. Conversations were held. I laughed at the right moments. I said I was fine.
And maybe I was… back then. Just sad.
Sadness, after all, is human. It comes and goes. We weather it. That’s what I believed.
That’s what I hoped.
But then came the mornings where I didn't want to wake up..... just because I didn’t see the point of starting another day. The weight on my chest wasn’t a panic; it was a quiet dread. Familiar. Predictable.
I started canceling plans more often. Not because I didn’t like the people—I just didn’t want to be seen. Not when I didn’t even recognize myself. I’d stare at my reflection and feel like a poorly drawn sketch of the person I used to be.
And yet, no one noticed.
Because sadness doesn’t scream.
It whispers.
It hides behind, “Just a long week,” and “Been busy, that’s all.”
It learns to smile without warmth. It learns to lie in a tone so practiced even I started believing it.
Sometimes, in the quiet of the night, I’d ask myself:
“When was the last time I felt... okay?”
Not happy. Not excited. Just... okay.
That memory seemed too distant. Vague. Faded.
_________________________
Next Chapter :
Ashes and After
Before the First Step A friend asked me to write about sadness—and what lies beyond it. Not in a poetic, romanticized way. But real. Raw. Honest. We spoke about the thin line between sadness and despair…How one can feel temporary, while the other swallows time whole. This story was born from...
www.chatzozo.com
______________________
The Subtle Shift
I don't remember the exact day it began.
No dramatic moment, no explosion of grief or heartbreak.
Just a quiet kind of fading.
At first, it was simple things. I’d sit through a movie I once loved and realize I hadn’t laughed once. Songs that used to make me sing along now passed through me like static. I'd pick up my phone to message someone—then stare at the blank screen, unsure what I even wanted to say. And then I’d put it down again.
“I’m just tired,” I told myself.
That lie is easy. It fits well. People believe it too—because everyone’s tired. No one asks why.
But I knew.
It wasn’t physical. It was something deeper, heavier. Like walking underwater. Every step, every smile, every thought took effort.
Still, I managed.
Work got done. Conversations were held. I laughed at the right moments. I said I was fine.
And maybe I was… back then. Just sad.
Sadness, after all, is human. It comes and goes. We weather it. That’s what I believed.
That’s what I hoped.
But then came the mornings where I didn't want to wake up..... just because I didn’t see the point of starting another day. The weight on my chest wasn’t a panic; it was a quiet dread. Familiar. Predictable.
I started canceling plans more often. Not because I didn’t like the people—I just didn’t want to be seen. Not when I didn’t even recognize myself. I’d stare at my reflection and feel like a poorly drawn sketch of the person I used to be.
And yet, no one noticed.
Because sadness doesn’t scream.
It whispers.
It hides behind, “Just a long week,” and “Been busy, that’s all.”
It learns to smile without warmth. It learns to lie in a tone so practiced even I started believing it.
Sometimes, in the quiet of the night, I’d ask myself:
“When was the last time I felt... okay?”
Not happy. Not excited. Just... okay.
That memory seemed too distant. Vague. Faded.
_________________________
Next Chapter :
Ashes and After : 2
Previous Chapter: https://www.chatzozo.com/forum/threads/ashes-and-after-1.60760/ --------------------------------------- The Weight of the Unsaid It’s strange how heavy silence can be. Not the kind that’s peaceful, like after a long day or during a walk in the rain. No, this was the kind...
www.chatzozo.com
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