THE CAT CONSPIRACY
Me: Why are you growling at the window?
She: She’s out there again.
Me: Who?
She: Miss Fluffy Whiskers. Strutting on the fence like she owns this area.
Me: She’s just chilling in the sun.
She: She blinked at me. That’s a threat.
Me: Or… a cat blink?
She: You don’t know her like I do. She’s planning a takeover.
Me: You literally chased your own tail yesterday.
She: A distraction technique. Classic counterintelligence.
Me: You’re overthinking it.
She: You’re under-sniffing it.
Me: Look, you’re the only queen of this castle.
She: Damn right. But just in case… I peed on the verandah again.
Me: That was unnecessary.
She: That was strategic.
Me: You're impossible! *goes off to clean my verandah*
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